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Behind the Mask

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Can you recall ever seeing a young child hiding his face behind his hand, in the belief that because he can't see you, he's actually disappeared and no-one can see him? This sort of "hiding" isn't a behaviour that is unique to children - The way in which adults hide can be likened to hiding behind a mask.
Hiding our true feelings for others, to protect them or protect ourselves.
Hanging back with our opinions, in case they cause offense.
Acting confident and pretending nothing can hurt us.
Or just putting on a happy face when we don't feel very happy.
We all wear masks at some points in our life.
But sometimes there are deeper reasons why we "hide" - we may not be truly comfortable with who we are or who we want to be, or may worry that we won't be accepted by others, so put on a mask to try to seem more like we think people want us to be.
We trust only a select few (family or close friends) to see the "real" us.
What is it that makes us hide, and keep hiding, behind the mask? It could be fear.
Have you ever had that dream where you are giving a speech to a crowded room and you are the only one without any clothes on? People have a universal fear of being exposed.
If we come out from behind the mask, we run the risk of getting negative feedback about our "real" selves.
Hiding behind a mask makes the risk of exposure less frightening.
It could be lack of self-confidence.
A belief that we are in some way inferior to those around us.
We don't want to show our "weak" points, and we worry that people won't like us, or that we won't "fit in".
The danger is that the longer we hide behind the mask, the more uneasy it can make us, as we act in a way that is out of alignment with our true beliefs and values, and end up not seeming genuine.
Not only that, but it can be physically and mentally exhausting trying to maintain a facade or an image, and can rob us of our ability to be spontaneous and enjoy the moment, for fear of letting the mask slip.
So what can we do to face the fear, and remove the mask? Firstly, just being aware that you have a mask is a good starting point! Think about how you act around others - Are you the "nice guy", the joker", the "rebel", the "know-it-all", the "dumb blonde"??? Consider when you wear your mask, and when, if ever, you let it drop.
Ask yourself what limitations your mask creates for you.
Are there things that you tell yourself you can't or shouldn't do because it wouldn't be appropriate? For example, the "tough guy", who can't show emotion, or the "ice-maiden" who can't let her hair down.
Next, you need to realise that the mask is not who you are.
It may sometimes serve a purpose, but is it really necessary as a permanent fixture? Have you reached a point in your life where you are ready and willing to "drop the act" and commit to being the real you? Why waste the rest of your life pretending to be someone or something other than yourself? Amongst the most highly valued characteristics we look for in friends or colleagues are honesty, authenticity and trustworthiness.
So, why not start by being your authentic self? Take courage! Drop the mask, and be the real you!
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