It's sometimes hard or even somewhat sad to think about, but the ultimate job of parents is to raise kids in a way so that they are not needed. In other words, parents should work themselves out of a job. Raising independent, self-motivated kids leads to the same traits with adults. Here are some tips for developing independent actions.

• Choices--even bad ones--encourage independent thinking. Beginning in their toddler years, kids should be encouraged to make choices about their lives. It could be as simple as which shoes to put on or whether the white sweater or red one will look best with blue pants, but kids should be encouraged to develop opinions for themselves. Parents can help to structure the choices so that all options are satisfactory to them. Too many choices can also be overwhelming, so limit choices to a couple of selections in very young children. As children mature, parents should help children to understand the impact of their choices, and that they must face the consequence of decisions made. And, as hard as it is sometimes, parents should avoid manipulating the answer. Sometimes, you might just have to look the other way if your child pairs mis-matched clothing or picks shoes that don't look right. The key is that if a child is safe and comfortable, it is okay.

• Create responsibilities early. Parents sometimes "enable" their kids to remain dependent or incapable of performing certain life skills long after they should be able to do things for themselves. Of course, parents aren't trying to be mean; quite the opposite. But the more that parents do for their children, usually resulting from acts of love, the more they are reliant on others. The preferred course of action is to start instilling responsibility as soon as a child can be old enough to understand the concept.
• Teach cause and effect. What's wrong with teaching kids that if they want to eat then they need to set the table? That if they want to watch their favorite video they have to clean up their room first? Nothing, so do it. Children should also be taught that if they don't do what is asked that there are consequences to their inaction. If parents back up their words with consistent actions, then the end result is that children are more apt to do what is right the first time.