Having children is a rewarding experience; however there is a lot of trial and error.
Unfortunately when these little precious people arrive there is not an instruction manual.
Sure there are a lot of books with great tips, the shame is in the timing.
It seems that when you need the information it is not available.
As adults the assumption is that we are to have all the right answers.
This is a lot of pressure to carry around when it seems we're just getting an idea of who we are.
There is good news, all is not lost.
You have not failed through your perceived failings as a parent.
By recognizing you could do some things to improve your parenting style is evidence that you are a success as a parent.
There are some areas in parenting that are common debates between parent and child in every household.
For example every parent wants their child to follow their rules like, eat all their vegetables, clean their room, and don't talk back.
The problem with each of these examples is that it has that, 'Because I said so' directive behind it.
If a dose of logic could follow it request your child is more likely to find it meaningful to complete the task.
A request and a directive are two different things.
As the parent you may think it's beneath you to 'request' that your child complete their share of the household duties.
You may view them as the child who is to be told what to do.
Not given options.
Children who are given options are very likely to make the right decision for themselves if given the opportunity.
When requesting that your child clean his/her room explain why it's important.
What you may find is that their room being clean does not matter as much as you thought it did.
For example if your reason for the clean room is so you don't have to look at a messy room, well a simple fix is to close the room door.
Viola! Now you can't see the messy room.
When you want your child to eat all of their veggies and they refuse a solution may be to offer some like if you don't like green beans you have to replace it with another fruit or veggie, what will it be? The child then has an option along with the message that this is important for them to have a healthy body.
You may argue that given options over meals is too much burden on the already busy cook.
It really is a simple fix, so stop the struggle over you needing to have things your way.
With parenting you have to find what works best for your children.
There is no one size fit all method for every child.
You are the adult, but that doesn't mean you always know the best way to solve a problem.
Your child talking back more than likely is their way of saying, "I need more information to understand what you are expecting from me.
" One last thing to note: Don't take it personal they are trying to find their own way.
Your jump is to support them not necessary agree with them, along their journey.
Unfortunately when these little precious people arrive there is not an instruction manual.
Sure there are a lot of books with great tips, the shame is in the timing.
It seems that when you need the information it is not available.
As adults the assumption is that we are to have all the right answers.
This is a lot of pressure to carry around when it seems we're just getting an idea of who we are.
There is good news, all is not lost.
You have not failed through your perceived failings as a parent.
By recognizing you could do some things to improve your parenting style is evidence that you are a success as a parent.
There are some areas in parenting that are common debates between parent and child in every household.
For example every parent wants their child to follow their rules like, eat all their vegetables, clean their room, and don't talk back.
The problem with each of these examples is that it has that, 'Because I said so' directive behind it.
If a dose of logic could follow it request your child is more likely to find it meaningful to complete the task.
A request and a directive are two different things.
As the parent you may think it's beneath you to 'request' that your child complete their share of the household duties.
You may view them as the child who is to be told what to do.
Not given options.
Children who are given options are very likely to make the right decision for themselves if given the opportunity.
When requesting that your child clean his/her room explain why it's important.
What you may find is that their room being clean does not matter as much as you thought it did.
For example if your reason for the clean room is so you don't have to look at a messy room, well a simple fix is to close the room door.
Viola! Now you can't see the messy room.
When you want your child to eat all of their veggies and they refuse a solution may be to offer some like if you don't like green beans you have to replace it with another fruit or veggie, what will it be? The child then has an option along with the message that this is important for them to have a healthy body.
You may argue that given options over meals is too much burden on the already busy cook.
It really is a simple fix, so stop the struggle over you needing to have things your way.
With parenting you have to find what works best for your children.
There is no one size fit all method for every child.
You are the adult, but that doesn't mean you always know the best way to solve a problem.
Your child talking back more than likely is their way of saying, "I need more information to understand what you are expecting from me.
" One last thing to note: Don't take it personal they are trying to find their own way.
Your jump is to support them not necessary agree with them, along their journey.
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