One of the most poignant stories in the Christian Gospels is the incredible story of the Widow of Nain (Luke 7: 11-17).
This poor woman, who Jesus encountered as she accompanied her only son's coffin on its short journey to the graveside, is perhaps the most vivid image of total disaster we have in the Bible.
She had suffered the most awful misfortune a Jew could possibly imagine, and the Gospel tells how the townspeople were with her, offering sympathy and support, and probably quietly thankful that it was her and not them.
To explain: the Jewish mentality two thousand years ago, and quite possibly still today, emphasised the importance of family, and especially valued its spread and prosperity - 'go forth and multiply'.
In particular, God's blessing was directly linked to the growth of the family, and happy the man who had many offspring, and of course, importantly, many sons.
Plenty sons were the clearest indicator that the family name would continue and prosper.
This poor woman had suffered a compound tragedy and was doubly cursed (by God): her husband being dead, she could have no more sons, and now her only son had died, meaning that her family line was finished.
Her life was as good as over.
God had abandoned her - total disaster, with no hope of any resolution.
No hope, that is, until the Son of God came into her life and her grief.
Jesus gave her back the one thing she really needed; the one thing that would completely heal her grief - her son, back to life.
And whether you believe the miracles recorded in the Gospels actually happened or not, doesn't really matter in the end - what matters with this story, as with all the stories recounted about Jesus, is the message or messages they bear.
The spiritual teaching embodied in this story about the widow is for me profound, and not only puts a capital G in the Good News but also brings a real hope to us as we become aware of our true destiny as the beloved children of God.
This story emphatically states that Jesus is the Son of God, and is the Resurrection and the Life; that only God has the answer to the human reality of death; and that we now have a real and vital hope for true healing and restoration in the future, and can begin to put death in its place.
When a person dies, someone unique and irreplaceable is lost from us.
If it's someone very close, a loved one, then the pain of loss can be excruciating, and many people never ever recover from that loss.
We grieve for the deceased, but we also grieve for ourselves.
The stronger the bond of love, the deeper the pain.
Some people even resolve never to let themselves love as much ever again, for fear they will be hurt as badly again.
The passage of time may lessen the rawness of this pain but it can never come anywhere near a complete healing.
This is simply because we cannot replace the unique and the irreplaceable.
The only way to heal the wound caused by the death of a loved one would be for us to be reunited with that loved one...
Is there such a thing as a full healing for the wound caused by the death of a loved one? In this world, no, there is not, and not even faith in God can bring a magic balm.
I think we need to be honest about this.
Christians and other believers are not immune from grief.
Indeed, believers can often hold deep anger towards God for 'taking' their loved one, or not sustaining their life, especially when the deceased is young or death is sudden.
God knows full well that a hole has been torn in our hearts and nothing and no one else can fill it.
Sadly some folk only compound the pain by vainly trying to deaden it by alcohol or other means.
Friendship, tears, prayer, understanding, time and celebration of memories can all help us cope and get by, but nothing and no one can give us what we really need here and now - not even God.
In the widow's story however Jesus does give her the complete healing - incredibly and dramatically, He brings the dead boy back to life and gives him to his mother.
What joy and exultation must have taken place in Nain! But, and it's a big but, at some point thereafter, the widow or her son would have died, and the pain of loss and separation would have been theirs again.
Maybe the family line would have continued and even prospered through the son's issue, but death would have come again to that household, bringing it's pain and desolation once more.
So the widow's joy will ultimately have been a temporary reprieve.
Does this mean that death gets the last word? Nice trick Jesus but you didn't crack the problem? If we say that the only thing that will heal the wound caused by the death of a loved one is to be reunited with that unique and special person once more - then we have to understand the deeper meaning of the story, and also the core message of the Gospel.
Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and in His own passion, death, and resurrection, He completely destroyed the stranglehold that death - and sin - had over us.
By submitting to death, which of course could never hold Him, and rising to life, He effectively made death impotent.
Death could never ever hold the One who is the source of Life.
Death was routed by the empty tomb.
But death is still with us - death and the fear of death overshadow life.
And we know that our loved ones are not coming back to us here and now.
No more Nains...
The point of Jesus' whole life, death and resurrection, is that He has gone before us.
This world, beautiful and vital as it is, is not the end of the story.
The kingdom and immortality await, and the big deal is this: it's not that our loved ones come back here to us, but rather that we, in our turn, will one day, sooner or later, go to meet them, and the Lord, to be reunited in heaven.
That reunion will be the true healing and the beginning of the fulness of life.
Death is for us, not the full stop, but the hyphen - leading us to the eternal kingdom.
The paradox of our life, understood by faith in Jesus, is that we who are alive here and now, are actually living in the shadows.
Our loved ones who have died and gone before us, are fully alive, living in the presence of God.
They will not return to us here and now - rather we must go forward to meet them and the Lord.
The reunion to come will not be a temporary one such as at Nain, leading to another separation - rather it is the final and complete reunion, no more tears, no more goodbyes.
Forever together in the Lord.
Total healing.
Let me make this very personal - my dear old mum died nearly two years ago, after suffering from Alzheimer's for a number of years, and we certainly feel her loss.
Our family's faith as Catholics, does not do away with that loss, nor does it lessen it, nor does it remove the tears.
But I know that she has not ceased to exist, no more than our love for each other has ceased.
I talk to her but she's not here, and that's hard.
And so I keep my eyes on Jesus, who assures me that a day is coming when we will meet up again.
Mum is gone, but not forever.
That hole in my heart will one blessed day be filled again, not by some poor substitute, but by the real person I lost for a while, and the infirmity and horror of Alzheimer's will be no more.
This is God's doing, and it is wonderful to behold! Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor has it entered into the mind of man, what good things God has stored up for those who love Him.
This can only be accepted by faith, but look into your heart and soul and examine the blueprint set there by God Himself.
We are made for happiness and fulfillment, for the fulness of life, and for that to endure without end.
Ultimately in Jesus we can say that death is the final healing, the complete restoration, the entry into the fulness of Life itself.
This poor woman, who Jesus encountered as she accompanied her only son's coffin on its short journey to the graveside, is perhaps the most vivid image of total disaster we have in the Bible.
She had suffered the most awful misfortune a Jew could possibly imagine, and the Gospel tells how the townspeople were with her, offering sympathy and support, and probably quietly thankful that it was her and not them.
To explain: the Jewish mentality two thousand years ago, and quite possibly still today, emphasised the importance of family, and especially valued its spread and prosperity - 'go forth and multiply'.
In particular, God's blessing was directly linked to the growth of the family, and happy the man who had many offspring, and of course, importantly, many sons.
Plenty sons were the clearest indicator that the family name would continue and prosper.
This poor woman had suffered a compound tragedy and was doubly cursed (by God): her husband being dead, she could have no more sons, and now her only son had died, meaning that her family line was finished.
Her life was as good as over.
God had abandoned her - total disaster, with no hope of any resolution.
No hope, that is, until the Son of God came into her life and her grief.
Jesus gave her back the one thing she really needed; the one thing that would completely heal her grief - her son, back to life.
And whether you believe the miracles recorded in the Gospels actually happened or not, doesn't really matter in the end - what matters with this story, as with all the stories recounted about Jesus, is the message or messages they bear.
The spiritual teaching embodied in this story about the widow is for me profound, and not only puts a capital G in the Good News but also brings a real hope to us as we become aware of our true destiny as the beloved children of God.
This story emphatically states that Jesus is the Son of God, and is the Resurrection and the Life; that only God has the answer to the human reality of death; and that we now have a real and vital hope for true healing and restoration in the future, and can begin to put death in its place.
When a person dies, someone unique and irreplaceable is lost from us.
If it's someone very close, a loved one, then the pain of loss can be excruciating, and many people never ever recover from that loss.
We grieve for the deceased, but we also grieve for ourselves.
The stronger the bond of love, the deeper the pain.
Some people even resolve never to let themselves love as much ever again, for fear they will be hurt as badly again.
The passage of time may lessen the rawness of this pain but it can never come anywhere near a complete healing.
This is simply because we cannot replace the unique and the irreplaceable.
The only way to heal the wound caused by the death of a loved one would be for us to be reunited with that loved one...
Is there such a thing as a full healing for the wound caused by the death of a loved one? In this world, no, there is not, and not even faith in God can bring a magic balm.
I think we need to be honest about this.
Christians and other believers are not immune from grief.
Indeed, believers can often hold deep anger towards God for 'taking' their loved one, or not sustaining their life, especially when the deceased is young or death is sudden.
God knows full well that a hole has been torn in our hearts and nothing and no one else can fill it.
Sadly some folk only compound the pain by vainly trying to deaden it by alcohol or other means.
Friendship, tears, prayer, understanding, time and celebration of memories can all help us cope and get by, but nothing and no one can give us what we really need here and now - not even God.
In the widow's story however Jesus does give her the complete healing - incredibly and dramatically, He brings the dead boy back to life and gives him to his mother.
What joy and exultation must have taken place in Nain! But, and it's a big but, at some point thereafter, the widow or her son would have died, and the pain of loss and separation would have been theirs again.
Maybe the family line would have continued and even prospered through the son's issue, but death would have come again to that household, bringing it's pain and desolation once more.
So the widow's joy will ultimately have been a temporary reprieve.
Does this mean that death gets the last word? Nice trick Jesus but you didn't crack the problem? If we say that the only thing that will heal the wound caused by the death of a loved one is to be reunited with that unique and special person once more - then we have to understand the deeper meaning of the story, and also the core message of the Gospel.
Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and in His own passion, death, and resurrection, He completely destroyed the stranglehold that death - and sin - had over us.
By submitting to death, which of course could never hold Him, and rising to life, He effectively made death impotent.
Death could never ever hold the One who is the source of Life.
Death was routed by the empty tomb.
But death is still with us - death and the fear of death overshadow life.
And we know that our loved ones are not coming back to us here and now.
No more Nains...
The point of Jesus' whole life, death and resurrection, is that He has gone before us.
This world, beautiful and vital as it is, is not the end of the story.
The kingdom and immortality await, and the big deal is this: it's not that our loved ones come back here to us, but rather that we, in our turn, will one day, sooner or later, go to meet them, and the Lord, to be reunited in heaven.
That reunion will be the true healing and the beginning of the fulness of life.
Death is for us, not the full stop, but the hyphen - leading us to the eternal kingdom.
The paradox of our life, understood by faith in Jesus, is that we who are alive here and now, are actually living in the shadows.
Our loved ones who have died and gone before us, are fully alive, living in the presence of God.
They will not return to us here and now - rather we must go forward to meet them and the Lord.
The reunion to come will not be a temporary one such as at Nain, leading to another separation - rather it is the final and complete reunion, no more tears, no more goodbyes.
Forever together in the Lord.
Total healing.
Let me make this very personal - my dear old mum died nearly two years ago, after suffering from Alzheimer's for a number of years, and we certainly feel her loss.
Our family's faith as Catholics, does not do away with that loss, nor does it lessen it, nor does it remove the tears.
But I know that she has not ceased to exist, no more than our love for each other has ceased.
I talk to her but she's not here, and that's hard.
And so I keep my eyes on Jesus, who assures me that a day is coming when we will meet up again.
Mum is gone, but not forever.
That hole in my heart will one blessed day be filled again, not by some poor substitute, but by the real person I lost for a while, and the infirmity and horror of Alzheimer's will be no more.
This is God's doing, and it is wonderful to behold! Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor has it entered into the mind of man, what good things God has stored up for those who love Him.
This can only be accepted by faith, but look into your heart and soul and examine the blueprint set there by God Himself.
We are made for happiness and fulfillment, for the fulness of life, and for that to endure without end.
Ultimately in Jesus we can say that death is the final healing, the complete restoration, the entry into the fulness of Life itself.
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