Many women still mainly look after the babies and children in the household.
Statements like: 'He doesn't even change nappies' or 'I cannot leave him alone with the baby' are common in mother's group.
What's going on in a world of apparent equality between men and women? Give up control First of all we women need to learn to give up control.
Every mother practically learnt what it truly means to be a mother with their first baby.
If we as women allow our partner and husbands to get a chance to learn his parts, then and only then will parenting become and equal task.
'He doesn't know how to...
' only applies for things that he hasn't yet been given the chance to experience and learn.
The desire to participate Second, the man obviously needs to want to be involved in the process of taking care of a baby and child rearing.
I remember my father started that process when I was in primary school, usually in the evenings when he came home by lecturing us.
I got him immediately involved now by asking him to change his granddaughter's nappies and he happily did it for the first time in his life! Many men are thrown into the deep-end during an emergency when for example, like for one of my clients, his wife suddenly had to go to hospital and was unable to take care of the baby.
He had no choice but to take care of the baby, change the nappies, feed and play with him.
He did what he could and got help by asking friends and family, where he did not yet have the experience.
By the end of his wife's 6 weeks hospital stay, he not only managed caring for the baby but also juggled household chores, organising care for the time he was at work and organised visits at the hospital.
Allow time to learn The same way we allow our child to get up and fall many times in the process of it, we also need to allow our partners the time to learn about everything concerning baby.
This does not mean we have to let him experience every mistake that we have already figured out, but sometimes they also need to learn to be out and about without a nappy bag to make sure they have it next time.
Many of those men have high powered jobs, managing teams and projects.
When it comes to their home life, they happily leave it up their wife.
Why? Because she has always taken care, so why would he need to change anything in his behaviour? Give support Tell your husband what you already found out.
Remind him to take the nappy bag when he goes for a walk or teach him to read the tired signs.
Mums usually spend so much more time with their babies; they also acquired much more experiential knowledge, so why not share it.
Let go In order to truly encourage your partner's contribution and care taking, we women have to let go.
We have to plan a dinner with a friend, book a massage on Saturday morning or go out to the mall and ask them to take care and step into their role as the father.
It's usually easier when we are out of the house for them to step up.
And it's easier not to interfere for women, when they are not around!
Statements like: 'He doesn't even change nappies' or 'I cannot leave him alone with the baby' are common in mother's group.
What's going on in a world of apparent equality between men and women? Give up control First of all we women need to learn to give up control.
Every mother practically learnt what it truly means to be a mother with their first baby.
If we as women allow our partner and husbands to get a chance to learn his parts, then and only then will parenting become and equal task.
'He doesn't know how to...
' only applies for things that he hasn't yet been given the chance to experience and learn.
The desire to participate Second, the man obviously needs to want to be involved in the process of taking care of a baby and child rearing.
I remember my father started that process when I was in primary school, usually in the evenings when he came home by lecturing us.
I got him immediately involved now by asking him to change his granddaughter's nappies and he happily did it for the first time in his life! Many men are thrown into the deep-end during an emergency when for example, like for one of my clients, his wife suddenly had to go to hospital and was unable to take care of the baby.
He had no choice but to take care of the baby, change the nappies, feed and play with him.
He did what he could and got help by asking friends and family, where he did not yet have the experience.
By the end of his wife's 6 weeks hospital stay, he not only managed caring for the baby but also juggled household chores, organising care for the time he was at work and organised visits at the hospital.
Allow time to learn The same way we allow our child to get up and fall many times in the process of it, we also need to allow our partners the time to learn about everything concerning baby.
This does not mean we have to let him experience every mistake that we have already figured out, but sometimes they also need to learn to be out and about without a nappy bag to make sure they have it next time.
Many of those men have high powered jobs, managing teams and projects.
When it comes to their home life, they happily leave it up their wife.
Why? Because she has always taken care, so why would he need to change anything in his behaviour? Give support Tell your husband what you already found out.
Remind him to take the nappy bag when he goes for a walk or teach him to read the tired signs.
Mums usually spend so much more time with their babies; they also acquired much more experiential knowledge, so why not share it.
Let go In order to truly encourage your partner's contribution and care taking, we women have to let go.
We have to plan a dinner with a friend, book a massage on Saturday morning or go out to the mall and ask them to take care and step into their role as the father.
It's usually easier when we are out of the house for them to step up.
And it's easier not to interfere for women, when they are not around!
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